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Welcome back to Comments of the Week! I’m your awesome host, Dreamweaver, here to bring you the latest and greatest comments to pop up in Destructoid this past week. So whether you’ve been away and couldn’t be here to hear these comments yourself, or you simply want to remember all of the funny things that happened because you have short-term memory, then this is for you! As always, comments are placed into three categories:
TRUTH: in 1921, the first fast food restaurant to open sold burgers for five cents.
LOL: that won’t even get you a french fry nowadays!
WUT?: it might get a woman to spit on you though.
If you missed last week’s arousing round of Comments of the Week, then you’re probably starving for some crazy comments, am I right? Then sit down and take a big ol’ heaping spoonful right here!
From Screaming and vertigo is fun! Watch us play Japan’s cat rescue game
Dreamweaver: Someone shoots you with a shotgun.
You just can’t see it because you’re wearing the VR headset.
From Overwatch-branded Uber truck involved in car crash outside PAX East
Dreamweaver: I overwatched what you did there.
Dreamweaver: StarPlatinum? You deserve that name!
From One last Uncharted 4 trailer for the road
Dreamweaver: You don’t know him, maybe he buys Forza Motorsport 6 DLC!
From YouPorn eSports team banned by league
Dreamweaver: Couch cushions are total sluts.
From Playing the Nioh demo will net you free DLC for the full game
Dreamweaver: Why is real fucking Nioh?
From Fan mod aims to ‘eventually fix every bug with Fallout 4’
Dreamweaver: Occams isn’t going to do your dirty work, Perro!
From Review: Severed
Dreamweaver: Is it hot in here? Because someone got burned by the Furniss.
From Ubisoft’s Trials of the Blood Dragon leaked by Taiwan ratings board
Dreamweaver: Dreamweaver: Blood Dragon.
I likes that.
From It looks like Activision is remastering the original Modern Warfare
Dreamweaver: If the game was released 10 years ago, is it still “Modern” Warfare?
From Granin’s explanation for ‘Metal Gear’ makes a bit more sense in Japanese
Dreamweaver: Steel Squirrel… nemesis of Solid Snake.
From We Happy Few is a roller coaster of creepy vibes and eccentric humor
Dreamweaver: So that’s why they invented tea time.
From Battleborn’s ‘motion comic’ prequel series is complete
Dreamweaver: Bitches loves houses.
From NieR: Automata screens are hot as hell
Dreamweaver: Don’t make eye contact, don’t make eye contact…
From Nintendo’s newest Humble Bundle isn’t as region-restricted as the first
Dreamweaver: Good thing he’s not an exterminator.
From Sony contributes to criminal investigation following Uncharted 4 theft
Dreamweaver: If the thief was cosplaying as Drake, I’d lose my mind.
From Apologies to the PlayStation rep I backhanded at PAX East
Dreamweaver: Like I said earlier, that would not get you a french fry.
But it might get two women to spit on you.
From Check out Flixist’s review of Ratchet & Clank (movie)
Dreamweaver: Don’t you mean “had you cumming?”
…
Look at his username.
From The Chinese Room calls out CD Projekt Red for ‘sexist’ games
Dreamweaver: Why is everyone coming!?
Dreamweaver: Funny, I have a voice in my head that says that all the time.
From I am Setsuna is a return to the classic JRPG formula
Dreamweaver: What if you don’t?
From Battleborn DLC could give hints for Borderlands 3
Dreamweaver: Was this kinky or what?
From River City: Tokyo Rumble is coming west
Dreamweaver: Boss? Boss? BOSSSSSSSSS!?
From RadicalYoseph’s Quickpost
Dreamweaver: You’re sick by association.
From Ghost Song blew away my expectations, made me die a lot
Dreamweaver: I hope my girlfriend gives me Abuse for my birthday.
From The vampire Mira is out today in Killer Instinct
Dreamweaver: The mirror matches the furniture.
From Burned out on Dark Souls, From Software is working on a new IP
Dreamweaver: Are bears resistant to nipple twists? Let’s ask Jed when he’s not, you know, backhanding VR reps.
From Adding Shrek to Dark Souls III is much more fun than you’d think
Dreamweaver: I still vote that Destructoid does the next April Fools breaking out in song for every article.
From The Pokemon re-releases were downloaded 1.5 million times
Dreamweaver: So… family discount?
From Review: Stories: The Path of Destinies
Dreamweaver: …Your guess is as good as mine.
And that’s it for this edition, folks! Remember guys, if you see a comment you think is deserving of being on Comments of the Week — GajKnight, I KNOW you saw that conversation with Zack and a spider, you boy of the week! — then don’t be afraid to hit me up!
And if you’re a woman, don’t be afraid to just hit me.