Promoted from our Community Blogs!
[Nothing like a fancy drink to go with the fanciest art form on earth, video games. Good thing SpielerDad has a few choice pairings and stories to share with everyone! I’m probably sticking to Pabst Dry (which is not a hipster beer no matter what mainstream media will tell you) but this was one entertainingread indeed.~Bass]
My wife likes to read my blogs as well.It’snot that she finds themincrediblyinterestingor witty… But rather she is checkingmy grammar and writing ability since she fancies herselfan English teacher. (Fun Fact: she’s an English teacher)
So last week, after she told me that she read my latest blog and I asked her what she thought, she said that it was a bit more serious and somber than my usual posts and that it seemed like I wasn’ttryingto be funny and stupid.
She was right. My last post was a bit of a serious entry and a departure from my normal writing style. Some may have been turned off by it. It’s like going to a heavy metal concert and the band decides to play a power ballad, or some lame ass shit, and everyone decides it’s a good time to go take a piss and grab another beer.
Speaking of beer…
Back in college, I had this amazing history professor. I remember the first day of class when Imet him. He looked like your stereotypical history professor, right down to the tweed jacket withsuedeelbow pads.
As professors invariably do on the first day of class, all he covered was the semesterground rules and thesyllabus. He ended the classbysaying that we were going to have fun, and history was great, but not as great as Guinness, and that the dark stout was proof that there is a god and he loved us.
Okay, so he was a horribleprofessor and probably an alcoholic, but it was theeasiest ‘A’ in history I everreceived. He was also a niceguy and Iwouldbump into him every once in awhile at a bar by the school.HUGE SURPRISE!
So,it was right at this time in my life that I learned that imbibing inamerrybrewor otherassortedpotent potablecouldbe more than just getting blackout drunk.An alcoholicbeverage ortwo(or five)couldbe savored and paired with other things, enhancing the experience.
For example, sipping a fine whiskey and smoking a cigar is pretty nice and notdoucheyat all! I can drink wine while eat cheese, olives, cured meats, and breadall day, every day.Want a little advice, drizzle some honey on the cheese and shove that right in your face—you will not bedisappointed.
I even started drinking beer for the taste and to enjoy the craftsmanship that went into the brewing process. Look at me! I have become so civilized.
Given that life has become so busy now with two children in the house, I have found myself having to multitask the things I love. A cold beer or a stiff drink helps me tounwindafter a long day, as does a gaming session. Combining the twoshould bea match made in heavenas far as I’m concerned.
However, some games pair better with certain drinks. For example, onewouldn’t drink a Cabernet Sauvignon with Belugacaviar, unless he wassomekind of CAVEMAN. Wearecivilizedpeoplehere, after all.
So,for my totally unscientificand completelyarbitrarystudy,I looked at someofthegames I’ve been playing for approximately the past 12months and paired them with the drinks that I feel make the most sense.To top off eachentry, I will then regale you with ananecdotefrom my past where I drank too much of said drink,making a complete fool out of myselforperhapsexperiencedsomethingwhimsy.
So,in not anyparticularorder…PROST!
Titanfall 2–Guinness
Titanfall2isa fine title, with asurprisinglygood single player campaign, with a deep,satisfying, and balanced multiplayer. Whenever I’m in the mood for multiplayer, this is the title I turn to.
Guinness,as it turns out,is always the drink that I return toas well. Beer is my drink of choice and I drink a lot of it. I’m not shywhen it comes totrying new brands because variety is the spice of life. With that said, there’s something comforting aboutGuinness. It’s a good standby that never disappoints, much likeTitanfall 2.
Back in my college days, I would visit a close friend who attended a different schoolupstate. He was friendlywith the rugby team and every year Iwasinvited up toa bigfund-raisingbash where they would serve $3 pints ofGuinness.However, since my buddy was closewiththe team, we didn’t pay a dime and got to drink as much as we wanted.What could possibly go wrong with that scenario?
We started drinking promptly at noon and in a flash, we were having a good time. Eventually, a pretty girl caught my eye and we struck up a conversation. Maybetherewas a smooch or two at some point and she invited me outside for a smoke. Things were starting to get… interesting.
I followed her out andshe handed me her pack ofcigarettes and alighter. I lit two cigarettes up at once and handed her one because I was cool and shit, and we continued the conversation. Then, mid-conversation, while we were standing in the middle of a parking lot, she reaches up under her skirt, drops down herpanties, squats down and proceeds to take a piss, right in front of me.
“WHAT THE FUCKARE YOU DOING?” I asked, clearly appalled.
“Uh, peeing.” The girl nonchalantlyslurred.
I backed away and went back to the bar. Found my friend and told him we had to leave right, fucking, now.
For the rest of the weekend, I was known as the guy who hooked up with the parking lot pisser.
Madden NFL 18–$3.0040 oz. can of Bud Lightfrom aNYC Pharmacy
I used to play a lot ofMaddenfootball back in the day. It was almost like a signaling of the gaming season restarting after a summer off. The release of a newMaddenmeant that fun new games would be coming out soon andplaying mindless video game FOOTBAAAAAWwas a perfectprimer to get back into playing regularly.Then I realized how mediocre these games were and took a5-yearpass on the series.
I took a shot at the series again this year to play theLongshotstory mode. While it wassurprisinglyfun and added a little something different, a part of me still feels like the title was not worth $60 I paid for it.
The problem withNFL Madden 18, and all the previous titles before it,isthat thefranchiseishopelesslyaverage, and this is coming from someone who is a footballfan.The changes that come out year after year are soevolutionary, rather than revolutionary,that it is hard to get excited about it.
With that said, people continue to buy this title year after year, so this franchise will never go away. There can be a thermonuclear war that wipes out civilization and EA will still find a way toreleasea new Madden. The only thingsthat will be left are Twinkies, cockroaches, and new copies ofMaddenevery year. MARK MY WORDS!
In a way, Bud Light, which is the most blatantly mediocre of beers is the perfect match for themost blatantlymediocre of video games.
Know what else will be left after a nuclearapocalypse? Stockpiles of cheap watered down, yet surprisingly nasty,Bud Light.
I used to work in New York City and had to commute in from New Jersey. That meant early mornings and late eveningscommutingback and forth. The company I was working for was horrible, so the highlight of my day was buying the cheapest 40 oz. can of beerfromtheDuane Reade Pharmacylocated in the bowels of Penn Station,and drinking it from a brownbag(CLASSY)duringmy train ride home. More often than not, the cheapest beer would be Bud Light.Onrough days I would buy twocans andget sufficiently buzzed.I did thisevery dayafter work and then found myself drinkingregularlyon weekendsfor no reasonto boot. Finally, after a doctor’s visit for some anxiety, I was told that I was essentially going down the path of becoming analcoholic, so it was time to cut down on the drinking.
I eventually found a betterjob closer to home,working with Lizard People pretending to be humans, but I really didn’t cut down on the drinking, because my co-workers were so unnerving.
YAY HAPPY ENDING! Kind-of.
Horizon Zero Dawn– Fine Irish Whiskey
Horizon Zero Dawnis agorgeousopen world action game that issurprisinglydeep and, attimes, wonderfullycomplex. It can be overwhelming at first glance but give it sometime, enjoy the beautiful graphics, and you’ll get swept away by it.
Horizon Zero Dawnactually reminds me of the first time I was introduced to fine whiskey. A friend “taught” me how to drink whiskey while enjoying a glass of Johnnie Walker Black. I was told to sip and savor it, instead of drinking it down, enjoying thesmoky, oak-tinged essence of it.This is quitethe departurefrom doing shots of Irish Mist andchasingit withGuinness, butthings change.
Overthe years, I learned to try out different kinds of whiskeys and bourbons. Much likeHorizon Zero Dawn, a good whiskey is deep and complex.
Back during my college days, I was invited by afriend to attend an “authentic” Saint Patrick’sDay party.I’m not sure what made it so authentic, other than we ate a lot of corn beef andcabbageandthedrink of choice was primarilytop-shelfwhiskey, chased by cheap beer.
Anyhow, there are only a couple of things worse than getting drunk on whiskey. I nowknowthatwhiskey makes you into an angry,belligerent,stupid drunk,and youwill have the worst hangover the following day. Case and point, theparty went from fun to a borderline brawl in just a couple of hours.
Myfriend, ofpure Irish heritage,whoalready had too much to drink, decided that he would feel so much better if he just threw up.This is a perfectly fine idea when one has hadtoomuch drink and knows it. The problem is, hedecided topurgefrom out of the opening of a second-story barnwindow. There is nothing more majestic than watching an Irishman vomit out beer, whiskey, and half-digested corned beef and cabbage outof a second-story barnwindow and onto a crowd ofangry drunk men below.
It is a sightthat I will remember for the rest of my life, uptherewith seeing the Grand Canyon,Saint Peter’s Basilica, and the birth of both my children.
Sonic Mania–Bartles and Jaymes Wine Coolers
After years of miss-steps, an honest to goodness Sonic wasreleased thatpays homage tothe original whileomittinghuman-girl-on-anthropomorphic-hedgehogaction.
Playing this game reminds me of my youth. I was 11-years-old when the first Sonic the Hedgehog came out on the Sega Genesis. Sonic Mania takes all of the good that I remembered from the original and none of the bad. It effortlessly infuses old with new creating a great modern take on the speedyside-scroller.
1991 was also around the time that I was introduced to illicit alcohol in the form of Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers.
I vividly remember a warmafternoon in the summer of ’91playing Sonic the Hedgehog with my friends when the troublemaker of thegroup (not me, I swear)askedif we wanted to sneak some booze from his father’s garage fridge.
We all thought this was a splendid idea and rode our bikes over to his garage and eachof ushelped ourselves to a refreshing bottle of Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers. We then rode over to a secluded sectionof a nearby playground and started sipping on our wine coolers, just like grown-ups do.
Know what else grown-ups do? They smoke, and my friend had that covered too. He swiped a few cigarettes from his grandmother and we all lit up. Man, we were so cool drinking our wine coolersand smoking Virginia Slims in theplayground.
Oneof my friends, took a swig of wine cooler andhadaloooongsatisfying drag from his cigarette, he looked at me, and winked, almost to say that life doesn’t get much better than this… and then hevomitedhisBartles & Jaymes wine cooler all over himself. My other friend did the same. Another and I managedtocomposeourselves, but just barely. I rode my bike home, went to my room and skipped dinner that night, complaining of a stomach ache.
I wish I could say that I learned a valuable lesson that day and never had a drinkor acigarette again,but then Iwouldbe lying.
Destiny 2– Vodka &Red Bull
Destiny 2is my new infatuation. I enjoyed the first one, but it got old for me fast. Then one day I put down theoriginaland never played it again.The new raids and DLC couldn’t even draw mebackin. I can see that this is not going to be the case forDestiny 2.
I don’t know if it is the inclusion of a semi-competent if unoriginal story, which the first game lacked entirely, or the more streamlined leveling system, but this game hasitshooks in me. I think about all day, waiting for the moment to have some free time to play. On the weekends, I’ll play late into the night, having to squeeze in just one more raid, one more patrol, one more public event, or just one more visit to thetraveler. If onlytherewas a drink that could keep me sufficiently buzzed yet get me wired up at the same time so that I can continue playing into the wee hours.
Do people still drink Vodka andRedBull? The entire concept of mixing adepressant(vodka) with a stimulant (RedBull) seems like a bad idea. Just thethought of drinking a Vodka andRedBullnow makes my heartpalpitate. In the late 90’s and early aughts, however, Vodka andRedBullwere just what the doctor orderedwhen hitting the clubs—that andEcstasy.
I wasn’t a big club goer but there was a short time where I frequented them with friends. It seemed like that was what everyone did back in that period of time. Even if you weren’t into dancing, or hated dance music, you still went to a club, at least that was the case for me and my friends.
Back in the day, there were three solid choices in New York City to go clubbing. There was the Limelight, which was perfect if you were a moody goth. The club was a convertedchurchand theyplayed dark trance music mostly.Therewas a legend there thatclubgoers who went to the Limelight were at risk of getting poked by someone a with ahypodermic needle. Once you realized what was going on, a mysterious person would then hand you a black rose and whisper in your ear, “welcome to my nightmare.” Legend has it, the needle was infected with HIV. Even if this is not true and just an urban legend, that is seriously fucked up. We didn’t go to the Limelight that much.
There was theaptlynamed Sound Factory, whichwas your typical mega club that catered to mostly the bridge and tunnel crowd. There was a very good chance of bumping into your stereotypical BobbyBachagaloop,TonyBagadonuts, and their whole entourage fromLong Island there. Make inadvertent eye contact with one of them, just for a millisecond,and they were ready to fight because youmust besome kindof a “queerah”. A glance at one oftheirgirlfriends and theywereready to fight because youalsomust besome kindofa“queerah,”which makes no sense to me, butapparentlymakes perfect sense to acoked-upjuicehead from Ronkonkoma.
Of course, there were abunch of underground clubs that were super exclusive and normally required you to wait online for hours just to get turned away when you got to the door. Fuck those places.
Then there was the Culture Club, which was justkitschystupidfun. This place was a theme club, essentially playing revamped 80’s dance tunesthat werekicked up anotch as well as your run of the mill dance and electronica.People wenttherejust to have fun and there was very rarely any trouble. Seeing packs of girls on a bachelorette party was common, as were 21stbirthday parties, and tourists. It was one of the few clubs where I felt relatively safe from juice headsfrom “Strong Island,” derangedpsychopathswithdirtyhypodermic needles, and Paris Hilton look-a-likes asking me if I had any coke.
One night, while partying at the culture club, I already had a bunch ofVodka andRedBullsin me, as well as God knows what else. All I know was Ifeeling incrediblyeuphoric and felta kinship witheveryone around me.
Around 3:00AM,the fire alarm goes off, the house lights come on, and everyone is ushered out by security into the streets. We were told that the club won’t be reopening for the night. Feeling a bit hungry, my group and a lot ofotherclub goers made our way to street vendors selling your typical dirty water dogs, pretzels, andknishes.
Nothing hits the spot better after a night ofclubbingthan street food.Accordingto my friend, I struck up a merry conversation with two gentlemen dressed up as Boy George andBilly Idol.Who knows, they could have actually been Boy George andBilly Idol, I was too drunk and high to know any better.
I have no idea what we spoke about, but according to multiple accounts, I boughtboth ofthem hotdogs and we talked aboutpoliticsand sports for almost an hour.
So, what are your favorite drink and game pairings? Have any depraved drinking incidents? Share them in the comments.