Let me save you the trouble: Disney's gonna shut you down, bud

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I hope he’s kidding

As a rule, I don’t write about Kickstarters unless they’re run by an established developer like Harmonix or Double Fine. It’s true — in my near-2,000 posts for this site, I can’t remember a time when I’ve written about a specific crowdfunding project. There’s just too much that could go wrong for the consumer/backer/investor and I don’t think it’s worth the risk. Ifit gets funded, sure, then I’ll write about it; then it’s just a video game that’s in development like all others.

I’m going to break that rule just once. There’s a newly-launched Kickstarter for an open-world Star WarsRPG. It’s asking for $200,000 to happen (more than $8,000 has been pledged at time of writing because the Internet thinks this is funny). The creator self-professes that he is “not a very good programmer and an even worse artist.” That’s where the $200,000 comes in — he wants to hire professionals to do it.

I could spend time writing about how $200,000 is an extremely modest budget for a game that the creator wants to “completely blow people away, like Fallout 3or The Witcher 3did.” I could talk about how the creator’s experience with making games is limited to “I have owned businesses ranging from clothing to stocks.” I could poke fun at the estimated delivery time of October 2016, indicating that this person thinks it’s possible to create a game that’s on-par with The Witcher 3from scratch in ten months. [Correction: The Kickstarter lists December 2017 as the targeted release date.]

Instead, I will just say that this is all for naught. Disney, avid protector of its properties, will shut this down as soon as it possibly can. It’s mentioned that the creator is “looking into talking with Disney” to see if this project has its blessing. Let me save you some time: No. No, it isn’t possible that Disney trusts you with one of its most valuable properties. A cease and desist might hit your inbox before I can hit the publish button. If it doesn’t, that’s because someone at Disney also thinks this is funny. But, attorneys aren’t typically the type to find anything funny.

You’re probably very excited at the quick growth of your Kickstarter. Four people have even contributed $1,500 to the cause! That’s a lot of money — a lot of money that they know will never ever leave their checking accounts. I hate to be the one to obliterate your dreams.It’s admirable that you shot for the moon, hoping to land among the stars; just know that you can’t land among the Star Wars.

Star Wars Open World RPG [Kickstarter]