Beautiful Frog is a game about life as a frog

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Rrrrrribbit

Monday mornings are one of the least active times in gaming. Seriously, nothing ever happens on a Monday morning.

So instead, kick off your week with Beautiful Frog,a cute choose-your-own-adventure game by developer Porpentine about raising your own pet frog. It’s randomly generated, so your frog will have a whole new life each time you play, and it’s up to you to give them the happy ending they deserve! Or, more likely, they’ll either die or abandon you. Hooray!

Let me tell you the ribbiting tale of Honkmop, the blue-speckled city frog. Life began as you would expect any frog’s life to: hopping, croaking, eating flies, generally being a cute lil’ frog. She even enraptured audiences every once in a while with her own croaking concerts, like any other frog.

And then one day, the unbelievable happened…

While Honkmop was chilling, singing a croaky little ditty to herself, a freakin’ vampire bit her! Presumably, this vampire was also a frog because a normal human-based vampire going around biting frogs is just weird, even by vampire standards.

With her new-found vampirism, a scent of something unknown flows through Honkmop’s froggy little nose. Yes… yes, that smell is unmistakable. There’s a witch out there somewhere. And so off she hopped, following her nose (note: I don’t know if frogs have noses) until she found her. The Witch.

But it turned out Honkmop, Vampire Witch Hunter, wasn’t destined to kill a witch this day. Oh no, the Witch had other plans. As they gazed at each other and realised that they must satiate their carnal passions, two monsters going against the will of the cruel world that made them. Honkymop, and I’m quoting the game here, wished to “sully [herself] with quivering flesh of the temptress”. Eat it, Fifty Shades.

And so, as is bound to happen when you make out with witches, Honkmop ascended. She was no longer a mere frog, oh no. She had turned into a Frog Girl. Love had conquered all, including, apparently, species boundaries.

And so Honkmop the Frog Girl and the Witch lived happily ever after in an airship hovering over the swamp.

So, y’know, it’s just your standard game about raising a frog. Have fun!