Comments of the Week 78 – Rocket jump? That sounds dangerous!

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Truth. Lol. Wut.

Aw yeah, Comments of the Week! I KNOW you’ve been looking forward to this! I mean, how could you not? This is the best community showcase of the entire site, where fellow Dtoiders like you can get featured simply by posting truth bombs, funny jokes, or creepypastas. Haven’t been commenting? Then you should fix that!

But hey, not everyone has the time to visit Destructoid 24/7, so for those of you who couldn’t be around to make comments, or couldn’t be here to see all of the best ones this week has to offer, then this is for you! As always, you can expect comments to be available in three, low-fat flavors:

TRUTH: in a 2010 study, researchers found that the older the woman is, the more pubic hair she will leave on her body.

LOL: maybe that’s why I’m attracted to older women.

WUT?: I wonder what explains my hairy armpit fetish?

If you haven’t seen last week’s Comments of the Week, don’t worry, you can check it outright here. Well, notherehere, since this here is this week’s Comments of the Week. You hear?

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FromOh hell yeah, Quadrilateral Cowboy is out this month

Dreamweaver:What about the last trillion-bazillion years? Yeah, not so cocky now, are you?

FromReview: Monster Hunter Generations

Dreamweaver:Does anyone else think Dreamweaver will get laid?

“The answer is always ‘yes’.”

I HAVE SUCH HIGH HOPES RIGHT NOW! :3

FromPokemon Go fastest app to reach top revenue on Android, battling Twitter with active users

Dreamweaver:Tch, I ain’t afraid of no cold!

FromReview: Necropolis

Dreamweaver:You are right, Isay.

FromPort factory Splash Damage bought by Chinese poultry company

Dreamweaver:He knows this from personal experience.

…Roosters lay eggs, right?

FromReview: Pokemon Go

Dreamweaver:Doesn’t actually involve the Chinese board game, Go. Japan/10

Dreamweaver:They make pills for that.

FromUbisoft doesn’t care if you pronounce its name wrong

Dreamweaver:Gesundheit.

FromThis limited-edition Xbox One S is a bit much

Dreamweaver:I’ll tell you what someone once told me: “just pretend she’s a virgin and you’re popping her cherry.”

FromAnd now, a seven-minute trailer for Konami’s Snake Eater pachislot machine

Dreamweaver:Re-imagine the ending ofMetal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, but with a lever!

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FromHave you seen anyone play Pokemon Go?

Dreamweaver:Big Dave sounds like the name of a pimp. Like “yo, I hear Big Dave’s looking for you.”

FromReview: 7 Days to Die

Dreamweaver:Or you die.

Dreamweaver:It’s the sole reason the game got anything higher than a 1.

FromReview: JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Eyes of Heaven

Dreamweaver:No no.

FromI need to give Dangerous Golf another look thanks to this update

Dreamweaver:Now that you have new context, re-read the patch note regarding “updated holes.” :3

FromNintendo is launching a miniature NES this holiday

Dreamweaver:…Just for that, I’m not getting you another beer.

Dreamweaver:Could you imagine if it was a Mini-Famicom instead? That HDMI cable’s got some ‘plaining to do!

Dreamweaver:WHAT A TWIST!

Dreamweaver:It’s questions like these that keeps me up at night.

From(Update) Pokemon Go finally hits the UK

Dreamweaver:But for a completely unrelated reason.

Dangus took his shoes off and dipped his feet in the water.

FromYou can play Star Wars Battlefront multiplayer offline against bots next week

Dreamweaver:So… she had to abort the abortion?

FromKing Kaiser’s Quickpost

Dreamweaver:As an American,what did the money do to you?

FromMega Man X2 hits the Japanese Virtual Console next week

Dreamweaver:He’s actually going to Canada. He really loves their syrup.

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FromReview: Videoball

Dreamweaver:“I lost like 12fuckingwives!”

Those are the third best kind of wives! ?

FromArc System Works’ new game is Shephy…a Solitaire joint

Dreamweaver:What if the third sheep chokes? Will a fourth sheep come to save him? Then who will save that sheep?

Is there a never ending chain of sheep performing a Heimlich maneuver? Well, I guess the first sheep could, in theory…

FromOh my GOD, these two new Pokemon

Dreamweaver:I said that very same pick up line to a woman once.

She said “good, then you’re set for tonight.”

FromTalk to a computer in a crumbling space ship in Event[0]

Dreamweaver:Of course not, she ain’t got no tongue!

…I checked. It’s lonely in space.

FromReview: Energy Hook

Dreamweaver:Too real, too real!

FromIndie Legends 4 Bundle includes Skullgirls, Reus for only $3.49

Dreamweaver:I’m not sure what pouring whiskey down there is going to do, but you’re probably going to need a lot of it.

FromBattleborn’s ‘Lootpocalypse’ promises increased gear drops this weekend

Dreamweaver:Schrodinger’s Loot.

Dreamweaver:…Too real, too real!

FromYou can request new PokeStops and Gyms for Pokemon Go

Dreamweaver:It’s inside that house.

Dreamweaver:Ignore him, he’s… JustStoppingBy.

(Yes, I did feature this comment solely to make that joke because FUCK YOU, I DO WHAT I WANTS!)

FromAzure Striker Gunvolt hits 170,000 downloads on 3DS

Dreamweaver:It’s great to see people of all accounts coming together to make fun of this one person.

FromDtoid will be down for maintenance on Sunday

Dreamweaver:Uh, I didn’t say that! It must’ve been an imposter! Ladies, I’m still a catch!

Dreamweaver:Torchman’s gonna pilot Mike’s mech, alright…

Dreamweaver:DANG IT, DANGUS, YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!

And that’s it for this edition, folks! Don’t forget to check back here again next week for all of the latest and greatest comments! In the meantime, why don’t you shout out which ones you enjoyed in the comment section below?