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Welcome back to Comments of the Week! This is the community showcase where your lovely host, Dreamweaver, gathers up all the comments said by the wonderful members of Destructoid! How does he manage to be everywhere at once? Well, that’s my little secret.
And it ain’t the only one, if you know what I’m saying. ?
Anyway, if you were out and about this week, or you simply want to remember all of the kooky things that went down these past days, then look no further!
Oh, wait, the comments aren’t at the top of the blog. Okay, you may have to look a little further! As always, comments are placed into three categories:
TRUTH: Destructoid being down on Saturday was like the apocalypse I never knew would be so HORRIBLE!
LOL: If it ever happens again, tell all my waifus that I love her more than the others!
WUT?: But also tell them to come to the funeral at separate times.
If you missed out last week’s edition of Comments of the Week, then you frickin’ missed the 50th edition. Wow, sucks to be you! You missed, like, the biggest orgy ever. I don’t know how we can be friends after this. ?
From Platinum Games’ Scalebound has been delayed into 2017
Dreamweaver: These are the type of people the dragons usually eat first.
Also, 2017 is the same year giant bugs will roam the planet, and the Earth Defense Force will dispatch to save us all.
From The Binding of Isaac: Afterbirth+ expansion will have new items, bosses, and possibly your voice
Dreamweaver: All abroad the (white) gravy train!
From Pre-order the Oculus Rift VR headset this week
Dreamweaver: That’s the exact same thing a hooker once said to me.
From This ridiculously powerful gaming PC probably costs more than your car
Dreamweaver: My computer was “with it” once! And then they changed what “it” was! And now what I’m with isn’t “it” and what’s “it” seems weird and scary to me! And it’ll happen to you!
From Did Target just leak Homefront: The Revolution’s release date?
Dreamweaver: I come to Destructoid to get horny, not hungry, dammit!
From Jed Whitaker’s dank picks for Game of the Year 2015
Dreamweaver: Notice how Jed is suspiciously silent towards this question…
From 2015 was the Japanese games industry’s worst year on record
Dreamweaver: In her defense, it wasn’t white when she let me did her laundry last night.
From Myles Cox’s dope picks for Game of the Year 2015
Dreamweaver: If he has two Cox, how does he decide which one goes into which hole?
From Humble Weekly is all Tom Clancy games, including beta access for The Division
Dreamweaver: Just like Tupac!
Except he’s white, so there’s a chance people will think they saw him.
From Sony ‘mistakenly’ gives away wrong game in January’s PlayStation Plus line-up
Dreamweaver: A perfectly acceptable response.
Dreamweaver:More like Sony acknowledges the PSP more than the Vita. ?
From Recent Star Wars games generate over $1 billion in sales
Dreamweaver: The trick is to stuff your face with as many of them as you can!
From Mike Cosimano’s personal picks for Game of the Year 2015
Dreamweaver: I guess you could say it’s… more than meets the eye? :3
From Watch someone beat Fallout 3 in under 15 minutes
Dreamweaver: That’s what he’s counting on!
From Awesome: Goku’s voice actress is playing Wukong for Japan’s League of Legends server
Dreamweaver: There’s always time. :3
From [Extremely Simpsons voice] Assassin’s Creed Chronicles is going to India!
Dreamweaver: Directions unclear. Got dick stuck in Taiwan.
From amiibo as butt plugs, ranked
Dreamweaver:That’s how Carter sneaks them across the border.
Dreamweaver: And I won’t know what your butt looks like after you shove Bowser up there, either!
Dreamweaver: At least his last words were appropriate to the situation.
FromPodtoid records today, ask us questions!
Dreamweaver: I feel that way after shoving things up my butt too!
From Capcom is listening to requests for a Dragon’s Dogma sequel
Dreamweaver: You can’t argue with that kind of logic!
From Hellblade will release on PS4 and PC at the same time
Dreamweaver:If I wanted to waste weeks of my life that I’ll never get back, I’ll knock up a hooker.
From The New 3DS can run Windows 95
Dreamweaver: Finally, the prayers to my zipper-related problems have been answered!
Dreamweaver: WAS IT REALLY WILLIAM DEFOE SHE WAS SAVING US FROM?
From This new art from Vanillaware is anything but juvenile
Dreamweaver: Do they necessarily have to be in that order?
Dreamweaver:The closest you’ll get to bestiality in CotW.
From Oculus Rift dev kit backers are getting a free finalized Rift
Dreamweaver: Plot twist: the cock is his mom.
From [NSFW] Top five floppy dongs in video games
Dreamweaver:Porn problems: my penis is too short for me to kiss, but no one would do it for me. ?
From 40 PS3 exclusive games have been added to PlayStation Now, I guess I’ll type them out for you
Dreamweaver: Looks like a… tight fit.
From Sony trademarks mystery game project ‘Days Gone’
Dreamweaver: …I’m cool with that. Do you still have that link?
From Adr1ft hits Steam first on March 28
Dreamweaver: Is this is the last we’ll see of Isay Isay? Will yet another person be banned? How does Occams make his penis talk? Tune in to the next Comments of the Week for quite possibly NONE of these answers! Same Destructoid website, same Destructoid time!