ESPN interviewing busty blondes for eSports sideline reporter gig (Fauxclusive)

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Job requirements include ‘keep it tight’

Much to the chagrin of many traditional sports fans, ESPN is betting big on the future of eSports. The network has already hired reporters to cover the eSports beat, will broadcast this month’s Halo Championship Tour at the X Games, and announced today it’s looking for a smoking hot woman to become the face of the eSports sideline.

Robert Dunstead, ESPN’s eSports editor-in-chief, said the position is vital to the network’s broadcasts as it will help introduce the sport to viewers who just leave ESPN on after SportsCenter is over.

“We are not taking this search lightly,” Dunstead explained. “ESPN wants only the most qualified reporters to fill this crucial role. That’s why we’re looking everywhere, from Instagram to wet t-shirt contests to the jumbo screen at AT&T Stadium – even Arizona State University.”

Like in the NFL and NBA, the role of the eSports sideline reporter will be to update the audience on injuries that range from carpal tunnel syndrome to asthma attacks while ignoring the catcalls of inebriated spectators in the crowd.

“This isn’t just some fluff position. The ideal candidate needs at least one year of journalism experience, a familiarity with the various eSports we cover and she needs look dynamite in a pair of boyshorts on the cover of Maxim Magazine.”

If you’re interested in this position, Dunstead is asking that you send in your resume, two letters of recommendation, and three pictures of yourself dressed as Cammy from Street Fighter V.