The galaxy is at skeletal chaos
E3 2021 is done. Kinda. Maybe. It was mostly streams and some will probably still happen. The Nintendo Direct way of doing things has become the more mainstream route of late for reasons. Iwata has looked down from heaven and smiled.
But still, who won E3? Headpats for owning hardware are what really matter. I would have been able to provide this answer if Sony had shown up, but it’s probably hard for them to show anything when PS5s don’t exist. I’ve seen a monstrous lie in a Playstation kiosk at Best Buy, but not PS5s.
So, unable to supply a polling option for Sony, I had to rethink my “who won E3?” polling options and I formed the following categories, then asked the Destructoid community to cast their vote in a quickpost.
Additionally, given that some responses gave unserious answers like “Microsoft,” I created a sixth category since two people enthusiastically mentioned skeletons. Anything that was an unserious answer after that was awarded to skeletons.
Here are the results in the form of a pie chart:
As you can see, Nintendo — possibly better known as Metroid Dread — is the clear winner. Something called Elden Ring follows that with a humble seven votes, but skeletons almost threatened to take its spot! Good thing Elden Ring likely also has skeletons. Actually, let’s just combine those two categories to give skeletons a fighting chance!
That’s better and it reflects what everyone is about. Metroids and skeletons.
Here’s what some community members had to say about Metroid Dread and Elden Ring:
- Major Tom’s Coffee Cup: “Elden Ring and Metroid Dread, peanut butter and chocolate. Dark Souls was a 3D Metroidvania at its finest so progressing into an open world is gonna be dope. Then we have the newest iteration from the series that helped fucking name the genre? I know Sakamoto is hit or miss, but I’m excited for what they can do.”
- Goemar: “Nintendo. I’m not going to lie, my eyes watered a bit when Metroid Dread was shown. Metroid Fusion came out in 2002, I really thought we were never going to get a Metroid 5.”
- RiffRaff: “Indies are up there but Nintendo absolutely crushed it. Metroid Dread! I figured we’d get another 2D Metroid from the Samus Returns team eventually, but still, the Dread reveal took me by surprise. And Advance Wars! I hope this means Nintendo is testing the waters for bringing the series back.”
- Hypno: “Elden Ring made my bones rattle like a skeleton being drafted into the boner wars.”
As you can see, skeletons turned up. Indies also had a modest showing. I had asked for specifics, but we had two people really passionate about killing Chaos as well. They may as well be taken by the skeletons. Or “Unrivaled, unrelenting skeletal chaos,” as Flanx put it.
“My backlog” only got one vote, which proves about E3 what Spock once said about having not being as pleasing a thing as wanting. This was after he tried to kill Captain Kirk because he was horny, though. Take that for what you will.
Thanks to everyone that participated in the poll! You can read the other responses here.
We might not all be able to have PS5s, but we can have Nintendo Switches and everyone has a skeleton. So, in a way, skeletons won E3.