These Goat Simulator patch notes are funny

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New map, local splitscreen, and more in patch 1.1

Coffee Stain Studios clearly had fun detailing patch 1.1 for Goat Simulator, which adds four-player local splitscreen, wallrunning, more goats, bike riding, and other stuff at no additional cost to you, valued player. Here’s a sample of what’s gone into the update:

  • Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game
  • The Humans have learned how to ride Goats
  • This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here
  • Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game.
  • Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat.
  • Added five new colors, all of which are unseeable by the human eye.
  • We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it.
  • You can now play ragdoll goat hockey!

That last one sounds like good fun. Much of Goat Simulator‘s charm comes from its spontaneity, so humorous or not, I like that the patch notes aren’t overly specific in their descriptions.