Those E3 floor plans are fake, so here's my make-believe E3 2014


Fake maps, real dreams

I’ve had plenty ask me why Destructoid has not run any of the ‘leaked’ E3 floor plans and documents this past week. None of them looked legit, and no one could confirm their contents, so we skipped ’em.

This morning, the Entertainment Software Association confirms that at least the floor plans circulating around the internet are incomplete and outdated. They say that action should not take place based on them, and that the real floor plans are coming soon.

Those other release schedules floating around? I’m not so sure about those either. Making fake things seems to be the theme of the month.

But these lists had me daydreaming this week, thinking on upcoming titles and making up a few of my own. Here’s what I dreamt up.

Keep in mind that if I didn’t list it in my dream list, that may have something to do with having the heads up on some of what’s coming. There’s some pretty good stuff coming next month. Get ready!

PlayStation 3 and 4:

The Last Guardian — I mean, come on. Stop with the shit. This has gone on long enough.

Persona 5 — No chance of seeing it this year, but I can dream. Even a tease would work.

Gran Turismo for PS4 — While I’m making shit up…

Uncharted for PS4 — This is coming, I’m sure.

Yakuza Ishin — Maybe? Or maybe Sega hates us.

Kingdom Hearts 3 — Too soon.

Final Fantasy XV — Far too soon.

Wii U:

X — It’s coming this year, and there’s a good chance we’ll hear plenty about Monolith’s upcoming RPG. Don’t let me down, guys.

Fire Emblem x Shin Megami Tensei — This seems so far off, but I have not stopped thinking about it since we first got word. It still doesn’t seem real. I’d love for even a tease to pop up this E3.

Metroid U — Please Understand.

Paper Mario U — I can do this U thing all day.

Zelda anything — Zeldaaaaaaa


Xenogears: Origins — That name people are throwing around is stupid. But it did make me think of the Japanese-only DS release Xenosaga I-II. This was an alternate version of the first two Xenosaga games with pixel graphics and some heavy story tweaks. I’d love if they gave all the games this treatment, including Xenogears itself.

Culdcept — It’ll never happen. But I want this beautiful game, and it seems plenty of you do as well.

Persona Q — This is too far away. They’ll tease us, but that’s it.


Price Cut — C’mon. And go lower on the memory, too.

The Rest of the GamesSony, I ain’t mad at you. You’ve done a nice job of pumping the system full of indie releases. Thank you for that. And your partners are doing a fine job of getting some great RPGs on there. But there are more — other Japanese games, non-RPGs, bigger experiences. You know it. Don’t let us down.

Gravity Rush 2 — Please.

Parappa — It’s time for a revival, and the Vita would be the perfect place to start. I’d rather someone took the license and made a new game, but even a re-release collection would be fine by me. By going portable, devs could get over the timing issues that televisions and consoles bring.

Pangya — I still play the PC MMO of this Korean golf game, and I loved the PSP game (as well as the Wii ones). How about an online-enabled Vita release?

Microsoft: Xbox One:

Forza Horizon 2The first one was so good. I’d love an Xbone version.

Shenume 3— Fuck it. Wild card.

[more emo corgis here]