Welp, Cassie Cage has a jaw-dropping (hah) selfie fatality in Mortal Kombat X



God damn millennials and their social media. Just last week a police officer was telling me how social media is incredibly helpful in solving local crimes (muggings, burglaries). What the hell do kids think they’re doing playing Batman when they should be working at stagnant minimum wage to pay for exponentially increased loans?

Time to grow up, throw away the picture books, and go work in the salt mine like the rest of us. “Salt lung hurts?” Boo-hoo. Act like you’ve been there before. I just pulled Santiago out from under 10,000 pounds of collapsed salt by his boot straps. You can cough up a little blood.

Also the whole separated lower jaw thing is gross. You have been warned.