'You have died at 30 as a lowly peasant and will be forgotten'

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And we’ll never be royals

That headline — quite the game over message, huh?

Royals, a new game from Threes designer Asher Vollmer that is not at all like Threes, pins itself as “an optimistic peasant simulator.” You set out to become a king, a queen, or a royal in a lo-fidelity world, and you pursue that quest one entire year at a time. Also, you are 12.

Chopping down a forest for wood, converting a local tavern to your cause, finding followers lost in caves — each action takes a toll on your life. What will you achieve? (Probably not much.)

I thought I had a good thing going, but King Ahmed didn’t like that I was setting up shop all over his land. He could have just let me die of natural causes, but he is a jerk. I’ll be back.

The game is available on itch.io for Windows and Mac. Name your price.